* There are spoilers in this review but the show is so awful my review is probably more entertaining than the show. *
The Zombieland Pilot from Amazon is just "WOW" but in the worst possible way because it's just completely AWFUL! They took an awesome movie and then butchered EVERYTHING that made it good. Here are many but not all of the reasons for how bad this show is...
Same 4 main characters, All actors replaced. Woody is irreplaceable as "Tallahassee".
Changed Tallahassee's backstory for no reason at all and because of that makes NO SENSE at all as to why he is the way he is. The movie's backstory was perfect.
Made a bunch of stupid jokes, only one of them landed but it was more of a contagious laugh vs being actually funny.
Turned Columbus into a useless character who is just irritating. Columbus was meant to be a geek but he has charm and kept everyone alert with the rules. This version is a loser and annoying.
a TON of Plot Holes!
they repeatedly talk to the LAST OnStar agent trying to find people to join their group but NO ONE they find is ever in a car which makes you think "how the eff does she know where they are?". || why would OnStar even work? How could the system even work with one person...an agent can't maintain a satellite system. || Why is she ALWAYS there? How could she always be there if everyone around her is dead or zombies?
Columbus stops to wash his hands...a water system is not going to keep working without people keeping it working...if almost everyone is dead or zombies then the water and sanitation systems would all be broken.
Where are they getting all of the GAS? They continue on for months and months yet somehow never ran out of gas? Then decide to do a cross-country road trip with gas never being a problem.
the show is PREDICTABLE and boring...they didn't do anything that I didn't figure out 10 minutes before. I watched the entire episode to write this review but I was hating it within 4-5 minutes. As soon as they explained who the sandwich guy was...instantly turned to crap.
Amazon could have made an EPIC show with this IP but they failed in every aspect. The biggest failure is to try and keep the characters from the movie without the actors that made them.
This universe could have been used in awesome ways, they should have created a whole new set of characters experiencing Zombieland and told a totally different story that took place in parallel to the movie. Maybe they could have had the original actors do cameos with that structure but is guaranteed they won't now.
You could argue "they can't because of the guy's rules needing to be in the show" to I would reply with, "EVERY NERD has rules for this, there are websites devoted to that and they made up stupid rules anyway".
0.5/10 (I am giving it half a point because it made me laugh that one time.)
There is NOTHING redeeming about this show...everything is just garbage including but not limiting to: acting, writing, makeup of the zombies, set design, plot devices and so on.
Well I guess that isn't 100% true, Kirk Ward has potential to be an entertaining actor in some other show...but this isn't the show. There is a slight spark in him that shines through the atrocious writing that plagues this show.
This show could have been one of those things "SO BAD IT'S GOOD" if it wasn't based off the movie because the Zombieland movie was so good that this is actually an insult to the franchise and potentially tarnishes the franchise as a whole...no wait it absolutely tarnishes it.